Why You Shouldn't
by Denaliyasha
Summary: A collection of drabbles inspired by the phrase Why you shouldn't... Drunks, Reneeclones, and diversions. MacHarm
1. Hit On A Beloved Marine Colonel

A/N: Ok, this is cute and semi-fluffy, and I just got an idea for this… if you like it, review. If not, please don't waste my time. I don't own anything, otherwise, Harm would get his head out of his six and Mac would get her head out of hers and they'd just kiss and date and marry, etc. Anyhow…

Why You Shouldn't…

Hit On A Certain Marine Colonel

"Hey, baby. Can I buy you a drink?" An obviously drunk man put a hand on Mac's shoulder.

She moved slightly to one side, effectively removing herself from contact. "No, thanks. I've got a drink."

"Come on, honey. I can show you a good time."

"I said, no, thank you." Mac had raised her voice slightly, catching her fellow JAG officers' attention.

"Hey, come on, honey…" Mac just turned away. "Hey!" He reached out a hand for her shoulder.

_THUD!_ Mac turned around, and clapped a hand to her mouth to keep from giggling.

"What?" Harm's voice was completely innocent sounding.

"Your, heh, your face!" She was spluttering. On the floor at her feet was an incredibly sight. The man who'd been hitting on her was lying on the floor. Bud was sitting on his feet, and Harm was kneeling by his head, an arm around his neck in a headlock. The Admiral was standing next to Harm, looking slightly amused.

What Mac was laughing about was the fact that both Mac and Bud were looking completely wide-eyed and innocent. She had a feeling that Harm had brought the guy down, and Bud had assisted in holding him down. "Harm, play nice. You too, Bud."

As the guys let the lecher up, the Admiral shook his head. "I've said it before, but why does he obey you, and not me?"

"I still say luck."

Harm grinned. "Or maybe it's because you look better."

Mac smiled. "Could be that too." This sparked a conversation on who was better looking, Mac or the Admiral (a humorous one, of course), and nobody noticed the formerly prone man slink away.

A/N: I just had to write it. It was just a funny idea. You don't have to review, although I'd like it.


	2. Gossip in Bathrooms

Disclaimer: Not mine. Too bad.

A/N: Another in the Why You Shouldn't drabbles. This idea got stuck in my head during "Heart of Darkness." In no way a continuation of the first Why You Shouldn't story.

**Gossip in Bathrooms**

"Did you see him?" Mac was washing her hands at the sink. Restrooms in bars were a great place to listen to gossip, and she was taking full advantage.

"Oh, I know. I mean, tall, dark, and handsome? And no wedding ring? He is SO too good to be true."

"I've seen him before. He's military, too."

There were four women, fixing their makeup, chatting about Harm. Mac listened in, laughing inwardly.

"God, how perfect can you get?" A blond woman who looked eerily like Renee touched up her lipstick. "Don't you think so?" Mac suddenly realized that the woman was addressing her. She smiled. They obviously didn't know they knew him.

"Oh, yeah. Did you see that backside?" She was careful not to say "six", which might alert the women to the fact that she knew the perfection in question.

"Oh, my god, yes. That man's rear is to die for." Blondie turned to Mac again. "Do you know who he is?"

Mac grinned. "I heard he's a lawyer."

"Really? And I thought he couldn't possibly be any better…" The conversation went on for another four or five minutes, with occasional input from Mac, who was taking great glee in the fact that she knew the man better than anyone who was talking about how much they'd like to get his phone number.

"Well, it's been fun. After hearing so much about him, I think I'm gonna go for that hot Navy guy."

Blondie laughed. "Yeah, right. He's shot every one down. Besides, if he turned down me, well…" She was obviously incredibly self-assured and stuck up.

"Hmm… Well, I'm going to try anyway."

The blond woman laughed derisively. "This I have to see."

"Be my guest." Mac walked out of the bathroom with the Renee-clone following behind her. She walked up to Harm, and tapped him on the shoulder. She could tell that the bitchy woman was out of earshot, but still watching. She carefully kept her smile flirtatious. "So, I'm in the bathroom and I hear these women talking about you. Apparently, you're the tall dark and handsome of their dreams. Then this one, who looks oddly like Renee, by the way, says that there's no way I could get your number. So now she's followed me out here, and I want to give her something to chew on. Care to help me?"

Harm grinned, taking note of the blond woman at the other end of the bar. He recognized her as someone who'd been persistent in trying to ask him out at some point. "Sure. What do you want me to do?"

"Just follow my lead and don't freak when I do this…" She leaned over and kissed him. It took all his control not to do anything, and then he put his hands on the side of her head and kissed her back. It quickly became something more than a diversion. When they were through, Mac was sitting on Harm's lap with her arms around his neck.

"Wow."

"Yeah." She grinned. "Wow. Why haven't we done this sooner?"

"No clue. I think I should thank our oh-so-obnoxious friend over there." They both turned to look at the woman, who had practically fallen off her bar stool with shock. Mac smiled and waved, and she glared daggers back.

"You know, I think I like blondes better now." She leaned in to kiss Harm again, but pulled back at the last second to murmur against his lips. "Just, please, Harm, no more Renees."

A/N: Review, please.


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